Scratched Consciousness and Subversive Scribes

Notice the Vav. Second word, second line.
From the scroll I opened this morning.

Dear friends, 

Several times a day a walk by the Torah scroll in my closet. It took some time to get used to living with it, getting over the fear of something happening to it, of being in the constant presence of such a revered, holy object. Holiness comes with a certain degree of intensity.

This particular scroll has a history that makes it even more precious. When I became its caretaker, the scribe showed me a stamp from 1968 of the Israeli Ministry of Religion in Tel Aviv. The stamp acknowledges receipt of the scroll from Romania, where it was found. “It’s around 100 years old,” the scribe told me. “We cannot know exactly when it was written, nor how it survived the war.  In 68’ it was brought to Tel Aviv, and in the early 2000’s it was brought to Brooklyn.”

There was one other detail that the scribe gave me: “The very stringent would not necessarily consider it Kosher.” You can see tiny corrections in a couple of places in the scroll. There are a couple tiny holes in the scroll in other places. When I took it to my rabbi before accepting it, he examined it and approved it for use. Since then this scroll has been central to the coming into Mitzvot of hundreds of people of different ages, has been studied and read by hundreds more kids at our school, and walked around in services and holidays with many of you.

I sometimes tell people that the scroll is a survivor. Survivors, be it of the Holocaust or any trauma, carry scars. They are teachers of deep wisdom and truth, who hold their experiences in their bodies. Such is this beloved scroll that I live with. How could it be right for this scroll to be unblemished?

And the truth is that we are all survivors, not in the sense that we physically survived the horror, but in the sense that we live in its shadow. Like this scroll, we live in the world in which that happened, which tells us us that things like it happen today. We live with a scratched consciousness. This Torah is kosher because it is like us. It is the Torah that makes the most sense today, without compromising the string that ties it to eternity.

Last week’s Parashah tells us about Pinchas, an imperfect being filled with rage and jealousy. After he kills someone out of righteous anger God promises Pinchas “my covenant of peace,” את בריתי שלום״”.

But the scribes perform a subversive act of Tikkun, of correction or healing to the text. They take the word Shalom, and leave a tiny chip in it. Every Torah scroll in every generation contains this slight adjustment, in which the letter Vav of the word Shalom; peace or wholeness; is chipped.

This morning, after my friend Ghiora taught me this amazing fact, I opened my Torah scroll and read the verse with the broken wholeness aloud:

הִנְנִ֨י נֹתֵ֥ן ל֛וֹ אֶת־בְּרִיתִ֖י שָׁלֽוֹם

I hereby give him my covenant of wholeness.

May we accept our covenant of chipped wholeness full heartedly, and may our subversive scribes and the scrolls they produce live long, beautiful lives.

Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Misha