Birth and Revelation
Five year old Manu in his Harry Potter costume
Dear friends,
In the new Almodovar film, Parallel Mothers, there’s a birth scene, in which he lets us watch two women scream, cry and push as their babies get closer to emerging. The scene threw me back to my son Manu’s birth, five years ago last week, when I watched Erika perform those same powerful, brave acts. I had seldom, maybe never seen so much power manifest, enveloped in that much intensity. Manu was the incredible gift that came out of that awe-inspiring moment of revelation, birth.
This week’s Parashah describes the mother of all biblical revelations, the giving of the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai. It is, much like birth, a display of incredible, fearsome power. When the Children of Israel are watching the mountain shake, smoke and thunder they are still able to control their fear and hold it together. They’d witnessed the plagues and the splitting of the Sea, so they were used to visuals of revelation. It’s when they hear God’s voice speaking to them directly that they lose it.
“You speak to us,” they said to Moses, “and we will obey; but let not God speak to us, lest we die.”
The multi-sensory revelation was too much for them. Being addressed directly by God herself makes them feel like they are actually going to die.
It’s a very human response that points to the pain that is often involved in revelation, be it human or divine. Revelation has a way of making one hyper-aware of their faults. When Isaiah sees God he responds with this:
“Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”
Seeing God makes the great prophet feel ashamed.
In front of the quaking mountain, Moses answers the Hebrews request to mediate the revelation:
“Be not afraid; for God has come only in order to test you, and in order that the awe of the divine may be ever with you, so that you do not go astray.”
Abarbanel, a Spanish medieval commentator explains:
בא אליכם הקול הזה כדי שתבחנו עצמיכם ותראו אם יש בכם כח לסבול אותו ולשומעו
“This voice came to you so that you look into yourselves and see whether or not you have the strength to contain it and to hear it.”
Revelation can be a question: Are you are ready to look yourself in the eye, to see reality for what it is?
Last Shabbat’s hostage situation was another painful revelation. It showed us again the very real anti-Semitism we live with in this country. But it also revealed the bravery and goodness of Rabbi Charlie Cytron-Walker and the other hostages, as well as the overwhelming care of communities of all types and creeds, as was exhibited in the aftermath of the affair.
A revelation like this one asks us a more nuanced question: Can you see both the horror that lies beneath the veneer, and the great beauty? Can you contain the hidden miraculous as well as the buried wickedness?
Any time we get a peek into the ever-present power at the heart of our existence is a test to the limits of what we think we can contain. But it can also be seen as a vote of confidence. We can contain more than we think.
If the sheer intensity of the moment hadn’t wiped out any word or thought, I’d imagine some questions coming to the mind of that soon to be father that I was five years back: How am I worthy of raising a child, of partnering with this incredible being pushing out this baby? If this is how this life begins, how will I ever be able to contain the fear, pain and beauty of it all?!
Well, five years into my third child I can say that Manu’s still alive, growing and amazing us, jumping off the walls and learning and teaching to live and love. I carry that revelation as one of the great teachings of my life. A moment that revealed mysteries of life, power, beauty and womanhood without which I’d be bumbling nothings as I try and explain what it might mean to hear God’s voice.
This evening at our Kabbalat Shabbat we will explore moments of revelation further, and the tests, opportunities and gifts they offer. We will be joined by musical guests Maria Lemire and Martine Duffy.
I hope to see you on Zoom at 6:30.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Misha