One Small Step

Aztec Sun God

Dear friends,

Ezra Klein’s wonderful interview with Judith Shulevitz about her book The Sabbath World, which I suspect many of you have listened to (and if you haven’t you should) reminded me of a task I had promised myself to complete a few years ago and never did. We have a seven-year cycle of annual themes at the School for Creative Judaism. This year we’re in the third of the seven called the Year of the Storytellers. Last year was the Year of the Peacemakers, before that the Year of the Philosophers, and before that was the seventh of the cycle, which is naturally the Year of Shabbat. During that year I had planned to invite families to try keeping Shabbat, even if just once. Our great grandparents probably all kept Shabbat every week their entire lives. Maybe, I figured, we should try it once. I never got beyond suggesting that families light candles. As my son, Manu (who turns 6 today!!) would say: “I got shy.” The one reliably good thing about the Jews is that we don’t proselytize. Why mess with that? 

Well, because the other reliably good thing about the Jews is our greatest addition to the world, Shabbat. So today I’ll beg your forgiveness for my brazenness and attempt to complete my unfinished task from a few years ago in a slightly different manner. I’ll leave the theory and reasoning for why we may want to practice Shabbat, or to enhance our current Shabbat practice to Ezra and Judith. You could also re-read Heschel’s prologue to The Sabbath, which lurks in the background of the interview. 

By the end of this note I’ll have invited you to choose one small way to practice or to enhance your current practice of Shabbat. The reason I won’t suggest anything big has to do with the snail-paced development of my personal practice over the course of about fifteen years and counting. Today I’d say I keep Shabbat, (though Orthodox Jews would look at my practice and heartily disagree) and it’s often the best day of my week, the bedrock of my sanity. Had I gone any faster, I would have rebelled and given up. I’d like to share with you the process that brought me to this point. Maybe it’ll strike a chord or ring a bell or give you some ideas on how to go about this.  

The primordial beginning of my adult Shabbat practice was going to the theater every Friday evening. Living in the Village helped with that. But that was still sporadic, so I don’t include it as the first step. At the time I would on occasion light candles or do Kiddush and Motzi. The first thing I added as a weekly Shabbat occurrence to which I held for many years was that on Saturday mornings I would pick up a book that had nothing to do with my work and sit in bed for an hour with it. I remember a couple weeks of Jack London science fiction stories. Things like that. Anything that pulled my brain away from the practical. For a good couple of years that was my Shabbat. 

Those were the years in which smart phones came into their own, so I rapidly changed from checking my email once a day to many, many times a day. That’s when I added the Shabbat morning no email clause. This would be key. Something to build on. Over the course of a few years I lengthened the time from just the first couple hours after I wake up, to noon, to after lunch. Then I added Friday evening. I kept stretching the time until I comfortably stopped checking my email during the entire Shabbat. 

With email out of the way I began to add the internet in general. I stopped surfing the web, reading online newspapers or whatnot. If Shabbat can free me of my obsession with work, it might also be able to pull me out of this world, this century, the particular noise we live with during this round. 

Simultaneously there were family practices developing during those years. I now had a family, kids, other people to mark Shabbat with. The main difference between Heschel’s version of Shabbat and that of Shulevitz is that Heschel puts the onus on the individual, while Shulevitz doesn’t think it’s doable without community. My beginnings on this path of making Shabbat holy, different, separate were solo adventures. Had I not, however, had a family to have Friday night dinner with every week it would have all fallen apart.  

There were several other big steps that came later. I stopped working. Well, rabbis work on Shabbat often so.... you got me. But I’d argue that any person of faith whose practice is not ripe with contradictions is a person of little faith. A big step for me was giving up falling asleep in front of the tv on Friday night, as I’d been doing since childhood. This came when I decided to give up screens, a big and blessed leap that took some years to complete. Those of you who have been over for Shabbat dinner may be able to attest to the fact that I still do take to the couch at some point and doze off, but at least I dumped the TV.

Other rituals were added. Our family developed a kind of game we would do every Friday evening that created an opportunity for each of us to share a story about our week. The kids got their wish of Saturday morning screen time, which they keep religiously. I learned the Talmudic maxim “Whoever doesn’t sleep on Saturday afternoon will be tired all week,” and began taking that nap too seriously. The practice developed and grew.

Today, I avoid travel on Shabbat with three exceptions: to go pray (interpreted rather widely to include arts, protests and a few other categories), to go be with loved ones and to go to nature. I speak and text with friends and family. I continue to add to my list of do’s and don’ts. Most weeks I’ll say a quick kiddush on Shabbat lunch. Most weeks I’ll say the Blessing after the meal on Friday night. Most weeks the family will come together on Saturday night to do Havdalah. 

I still get accused of lack of consistency and free-flowing interpretation, and I certainly profane even my own Shabbat rules here and there, thank God. But overall, I feel strong in my growing practice, and am no doubt strengthened by it. And it may even be rubbing off on my wife and kids, who knows? 

All of this to say that I invite you to think of one small step toward Shabbat. It could be a minor prohibition like half an hour of not touching your phone, or a decision to avoid something that brings you stress. It could be a moment you consciously engage in something you love. It could be lighting the candles, or doing Shabbat blessings, or blessing your kids. It could be calling your parents or siblings or friends. It could be preparing a great meal. It could be meditating, or reading the weekly Torah portion. It could be going to Shul. Anything that creates a different time, even if it's just a minute or ten, or whatever you can hold to. Choose one thing and do your damndest to stick to it. It’s the ongoing nature of it that will make it work. 

We are a community, and knowing that we are all out there working toward a practice is what will make this take root. I highly doubt you'll regret it.

I would love to talk or email with you about your Shabbat, so please reach out and let me know what you’re up to, or what’s in your way. The tradition teaches that when all the Jews keep Shabbat the Messiah will come. We need to take care of ourselves, this tells us, and we need each other. When we work toward those goals the world takes one small step toward its redemption. 

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Misha