Soul Math
Tashlich on the East River last year.
Dear friends,
In the final chapter of the 11th century masterpiece, Duties of the Heart, Rabbi Bahya Ibn Paquda writes something surprising. The chapter is called The Gate of Love and is the climax of the journey through the previous nine gates, or chapters that preceded it. Love of God, as Ibn Paquda calls it, is the purpose toward which Observation, Trust, Detachment and all the other gates are set. Love is “the top of the staircase,” as he calls it. But, he warns, “whoever tries to reach it on its own will fail.” Love, he suggests, necessitates preparation.
We called our High Holidays’ theme this year Begin Again, by which we mean that we will try to bring ourselves again to a place of love. Beginnings are love. They are intrinsically hopeful. But as Ibn Paquda points out, you can’t just say you’re going to be loving and do it. It takes time, patience and hard work to allow for the presence of love to be experienced, so that a new beginning can take place.
In the Jewish tradition this work is called Teshuvah, a word which combines the two English words repentance and return. The self-examination embodied by the heavier word of the two, repentance, is the gate through which one need walk in order to experience the sweetness of the second word, return. We are welcome home, to the part of us that is all goodness and peace, only once we have looked seriously at our actions along the road – both collective and individual.
In the eighth chapter of his book, שער חשבון הנפש, the Gate of Soul Math (or Accounting of the Soul), Ibn Paquda lays out 30 types of self-examination that can lead you to seeing the truth of your existence in such a way that allows a person to proceed in their actions in the world with total ease: “Then her soul will quiet, and her thoughts will rest from the worries of the world.” Each of these 30 types, or faces as he called them, offers a question to contemplate about where you’re at, where you’ve been and where you’re going. They range from simple questions about things you might take for granted, to probing asks about the reasons you act like you do. Some deal with your conscience, others with your priorities, some with your relationship with your body, others with how you treat your mind. Here he asks about your relationship with death, there about your attitude towards money. Throughout, Ibn Paquda gently implores you to seek a more harmonious and loving relationship with that elusive essence of yourself that he calls your Neshamah, or soul.
This Wednesday the Hebrew month of Elul begins. Elul is a month-long preparation for the new year, an opportunity to self-examine on the path toward truth and love. This Elul I will follow Ibn Paquda’s 30 Faces of Soul-Math, offering a short video on Instagram each day with one of his wonderful questions. I’ll actually start on Tuesday, considered the first day of Elul even though it’s the last day of Av, since Elul only has 29 days. There’s some spiritual Jewish math for y’all to work out!
If you don't follow us already, HERE's how you can do it!
I hope you’ll join me for this soul math journey.
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Misha