Here I Am! (Who's I again?)

Dear friends,

What a beautiful opening to the new year! It was wonderful gathering with you all with music, food and sky, and searching for new ways to listen. I was especially moved to sing and pray with some of you who couldn’t come in person throughout the pandemic, including our Shul’s founders, Ellen and Holly.  

On Tuesday evening and Wednesday, we will continue our exploration of communication, the search to find the spaces where we can truly connect with one another, hear and be heard. As we move from Rosh Hashanah, the day of hearing the shofar, to Yom Kippur, the day of speaking our deepest truths, we might want to adopt the attitude of the chazzan, the cantor, who opens her mouth on Yom Kippur with the following words: 

Hineni, he’ani mima’as 
Nir’ash v’nifchad, mi mi ani 

הִנְנִי הֶעָנִי מִמַּעַשׂ  
נִרְעָשׁ וְנִפְחַד מִי מִי אֲנִי 

HERE I AM, 
POOR OF DEEDS, 
TREMBLING AND FRIGHTENED – 
WHO, WHO AM I? 

Hineni – Here I am, is always, at any hour of the day, a good use of words.

He'ani mima’as - poor of deeds, is the humble attitude one wears when they know they are standing in front of someone they can learn from. Is there anyone we can’t learn from?

Nir’ash venifchad mi mi ani, Trembling and frightened – who, who am I? The process of the Days of Awe contradicts itself. We both relinquish the self and become more ourselves. It is a scary process, a total letting go and becoming part of the wind. And there, as we fly around with the particles of dust and light, we find ourselves. Any word we utter that asks “who am I,” is a certainly a word well used.  

And speaking of words, I hope you manage to take moment this weekend to work on our community assignment for the Days of Awe. Here’s a recap again: 

Find a line or verse that moves you deeply. This can be poetry, prose, journalism, something someone once told you, ancient, contemporary, anything really. Some line that touches your kishkes. Spend some time with it over a few days, seeing how it plays into your days and nights, staying open to how it might speak to what happens in the internal and external world. Then, share this line with another person. See if you can express to them what is that makes these words so important to you. Finally, bring that line to Shul on Yom Kippur. During the morning service we will have space for sharing the lines, and will build out of these words our new and improved Tower of Babbling Words. 

Let’s take Lizzie’s suggestion to dive openly into these Days of Teshuvah, listening like we don’t know how to listen. 

Looking forward to coming together with you all in a few days.

Shabbat shalom,

Rabbi Misha